Codependency is an often misunderstood dynamic of close relationships. This dynamic can become dangerous when one person within the relationship is struggling with meth addiction.
If you have a close loved one, relative, or friend, who is addicted to meth, you might unknowingly find yourself caught up in a cycle of behaviour that harms more than it helps.
Keep reading to discover patterns that indicate an unhealthy codependent relationship and how you break away from harmful behaviours and build a healthier relationship with your loved one.
Signs to Look Out For
There are several signs to look out for if you believe you may be in a codependent relationship with a loved one addicted to meth. The following 10 signs are some of the most common.
- You Feel Responsible for Your Loved One’s Behaviour
One of the most obvious signs of codependency is feeling responsible for your loved one’s actions and choices. You may constantly worry about what they are doing or make excuses for them if they neglect their responsibilities. This could include lying to others about their drug use or covering up their behaviour to prevent them from being embarrassed.
In a relationship like this, your loved one will cling to you because you make it easier for them to forget responsibility and keep using drugs. They may say, “You are the only one who can help me, and I cannot get through this without you.”
You, on the other hand, may continue to think and say things like, “If I had not let you go out last night, you would not have used meth again.”
This thinking on your part means you are trying to take responsibility for your loved one’s addiction, but your relationship cannot function on that basis.
- You Are Neglecting Your Responsibilities
If you are in a codependent relationship with a loved one, you will start prioritizing their needs over yours. Your life will revolve around managing your loved one’s addiction, and you will have no time to care for your own family or yourself.
In this scenario, your loved one may play on your feelings if you try to break away. They may state, “You are just thinking of yourself even though I am struggling.”
When this happens, you may feel guilty and think, “I should give up my time and hobbies and help my loved one all the time.”
Can you start to see how dangerous this type of thinking is?
- You Have No Set Boundaries
If there are no boundaries in your relationship with a loved one addicted to meth, you will find it hard to say no to them. This will be the norm whether your loved one’s requests are unreasonable or not. Unfortunately, if you keep going along with the no-boundaries situation, you enable your loved one to keep using meth.
If you try to establish boundaries, your loved one may say things like, “You don’t really love me because you do not want to help me. ” This may cause you to say, “Okay, I do not want to upset you, so I will help you.”
There is no winner in this type of situation.
- You Always Want to Fix Their Problems
A classic sign of codependency is when one person always wants to fix the other person’s problems. You may want to give your loved one money or keep bailing them out of legal trouble. Doing this will prevent them from facing the consequences of their meth addiction.
If your loved one says things like, “Just help me one more time,” and you find yourself thinking, “If I do not help them, who will?” you are in a codependent relationship.
- You Are Experiencing Emotional Burnout
This is a dangerous sign of codependency. Constantly dealing with your loved one’s addiction can be emotionally draining. You may suffer from depression or anxiety because of the continuous stress and worry. This can lead to burnout, which is difficult to recover from.
The red flags are your loved one exclaiming things like, “You are always too tired to help me.” You will likely say and think, “I do not know what to do anymore, and it feels like I am functioning on autopilot.”
- You Minimize the Severity of Your Loved One’s Addiction
If you keep downplaying how serious your loved one’s addiction is, you are very likely in a codependent relationship. You might rationalize their behaviour by thinking, “They do not use meth all the time, so they cannot be addicted.” Your loved one will compound this by saying, “I can stop any time” or “I do not have a problem.”
- You Are Starting to Feel Helpless
When you start recognizing the signs of codependency, you may feel trapped or helpless. At the same time, you will start feeling guilty because you are considering leaving the situation or setting strict boundaries.
At this point, it is important to ignore statements like, “I will fall apart without you,” and not fall into the trap of thinking, “They need me too much; I cannot just leave them like this.”
- You Suppress Your Emotions
You will likely try to suppress your emotions to avoid conflict arising from leaving or setting boundaries. Your loved one will probably attack you if you mention how you feel by saying, “You always make a big deal out of nothing.” This may lead to you keeping quiet and just going along with it.
This will do more harm than good because, once again, your loved one will experience zero consequences for their actions.
- Your Self-Worth Is Tied to Your Loved One’s Behaviour
If your self-worth becomes dependent on your loved one’s behaviour, you have a big problem. You may feel good about yourself when they do well or feel like a failure when they struggle. This rollercoaster of emotions will leave you wide open to manipulation.
Avoid falling for statements like, “You are the only one who can help me get better.” This will cause you to think, “If they relapse, it is all my fault.”
- You Worry About What Others May Think
If you constantly worry about what others may think about your relationship with your loved one, there are codependency elements at play. Your loved one may make things worse by saying, “Other people will not understand, so do not tell them anything.”’ You may think, “If people knew what was happening, they would think less of me.”
HARP Can Help You Move On From a Codependent Relationship
The highly experienced Hills & Ranges Private clinical team has seen and heard it all before. The doctors, nurses, therapists, and counsellors know how to work with patients who have been in a codependent relationship that worsened their addiction.
Break free from the stress and worry of codependency, and book a Confidential Family Support Call with HARP today. This will benefit both you and your loved one as you leave your codependency behind and your loved one receives much-needed treatment for their meth addiction.
