Rehab for Sex & Love Addiction

How we treat sex & love addiction?

At most treatment centres, sex and love addiction are treated as one and the same. At HARP Private Rehab, we consider sex and love addiction as two separate issues that each require tailored treatment.

Above all else, if you are struggling with a sex and/or love addiction, please know that it is not your ‘fault’, and there is nothing at all ‘wrong’ with you. You are struggling, and sex/love has come to form as a coping mechanism for that pain.

How does someone become addicted to sex & love?

Sex and love addictions occur when an individual repeatedly experiences obsessive feelings or fantasies towards others that they feel compelled to pursue despite the negative consequences. Both sex and love addiction are often rooted in a childhood experience of neglect, sexual abuse or traumatic emotional abandonment, which can be extremely painful. It is common for these issues to occur alongside other behavioural addictions, substance abuse issues, codependency, and narcissism.

Central to both sex addiction and love addiction are questions, issues and a distorted relationship to intimacy. For instance, an individual in the thralls of sex addiction will struggle to connect with other people because they are preoccupied with sexual acts. A person struggling with love addiction will struggle to create long-lasting bonds because they are preoccupied with the idealised perfect fantasy of love. At the core of both is the same battle for a sense of control over oneself, distorted thinking patterns and a profound, often bottomless, loneliness.

Through our combination of medical, psychological and personal care, we are proud to be the only clinic in the world that addresses co-occurring conditions and every possible root-cause of sex and love addictions.

What are the signs?

Sex and love addiction can take different forms, each with its own unique challenges. These behaviours almost always stem from deep emotional pain, trauma, or unmet needs and can manifest in four distinct ways: sex addiction, sexual anorexia, love addiction, and love avoidance. Each type affects relationships, self-worth, and emotional well-being in different ways, but they all share a common need for healing and support.

Sex addiction

Sex is an essential part of a healthy, loving relationship. However, because it floods the brain with feel-good chemicals, it has the potential to become addictive. Sex addiction is characterised as the compulsive need to perform sexual acts to achieve the same kind of ‘fix’ as those with a substance abuse dependency.

Symptoms of sex addiction include:

• Inability to reduce or stop unhealthy sexual activities despite wanting to.
• Sexual activity continues despite the potential for emotional or physical harm it may cause to both the individual and other people.
• Excessive use of pornography, sex chat lines or webcams.
• Unhealthy sexual activities as a response to boredom, anxiety, stress, or depression.
• The time spent in sexual activities or fantasies interferes with work, social activities, or commitments to loved ones.

Sexual anorexia

If someone is suffering from sexual anorexia, we compulsively avoid giving or receiving sexual/emotional nourishment. Unlike someone who is asexual, someone with sexual anorexia will avoid sexual or emotional intimacy due to a fear of sexuality rather than a general dislike or disinterest.

Symptoms of sexual anorexia include:

• A dread of sexual pleasure.
• Distortions of body appearance and loathing of body functions.
• Obsessional self-doubt about sexual adequacy.
• Shame and self-loathing over sexual experiences.
• Self-destructive behaviour to limit or avoid sex.

Love addiction

Individuals who suffer from love addiction struggle to form an identity outside of their relationships and idolise their romantic partner as the person/object that will ‘fix’ them. They will suddenly enter into a relationship, often avoiding pain or responsibility in other areas of their lives.

Symptoms of love addiction include:

• Committing to and falling in love with a partner without really knowing them.
• Never feeling satisfied within a relationship but feeling empty when they are alone.
• Idealising and pursuing others, then blaming them for not fulfilling their fantasies of perfection.
• Using emotional dependency as a substitute for authentic care.
• Using sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control other people.
• Associating loneliness with abandonment leads individuals to either stay in highly abusive relationships or sometimes simultaneously engage in numerous sexual/emotional relationships.

Love avoidance

We experience love avoidance when we have an aversion to intimate relationships with other people. People with love avoidance can struggle to trust others and often destroy a relationship when there’s a danger of intimacy.

Symptoms of love avoidance include:

• Using anger, abuse or criticism to keep people at a comfortable distance.
• Finding yourself angry and avoidant with people when they show concern for you.
• Need constant validation from friends and family members.
• Avoiding vulnerability or intensity in a relationship but finding it in substance abuse or behavioural addictions.
• Frequently engaging in casual sex but becoming distant when the relationship turns serious.

If you recognise yourself in any of these symptoms, we can guide you toward recovery.